GCSE Composition HELP! CALLING ALL COMPOSERS!

Anonymous
• Jul 17, 2017 - 13:14

Percussion Composition FEEDBACK.mscz

So basically, I'm currently doing GCSE music.
Just completed my first of the two year course.
My composition was marked by my teacher, and came back as a C, 18/30.
The composition (musescore file) is attached, with red writing indicating feedback.
I find my teacher's feedback is difficult to understand and very vague.
So i've included all feedback and was wondering if any kind people would be able to take a look over it and maybe change it up a bit/kind of rewrite it?
It's a percussion study, with the percussionist playing Timpani/Vibes, hence why they can't cross over, and piano accompaniment.
Any help would be greatly appreciated.
I've also written my general feedback below, just so it's clear how I need to improve.
Thanks!

FEEDBACK STARTS HERE
A wide range of techniques for vibraphone/timps and piano accompaniment with some imaginative rhythmic ideas. However, there are perhaps too many ideas and the piece lacks economy of sections/development and clarity. Each section needs to be shorter, the melodic ideas need development and you need to show development in each section. I think you are trying too much.
HARMONY - Use of primary chords/relative minor in other sections, but ambiguous/unclear harmony in vibraphone minimalist section - this needs addressing. Opportunity to add harmony to timp solo.
TEXTURE - Homophonic/Monophonic textures/ some polyphony. Opportunity to mix instruments together, create imitation and more polyphony.
STRUCTURE - Clear ABCDA - but sections are VERY LONG and lack economy/unity/development - easy to fix!
PLAN/BRIEF - Clear plan. Detailed brief. Well edited score.
USE OF COMPOSITIONAL DEVICES - Detailed use of a range of compositional techniques but the devices need to be used in shorter, more compact sections - more impact!
STYLISITIC FEATURES - Perhaps too many different styles - too ambitious. Is it a study for perc instruments? (It is by the way!) A sonata? A minimalist piece?
TARGET SETTING -
1) Prune each section, do you need them all? ABACA is enough - rondo 16 bars each + return to A
2) Sort out the harmoy in each sction - range of keys/modulation
3) Aim for a length of around 3 mins - linking these ideas together but showing a range of techniques and a sense of unity
If you are writing a "study" for percussion, you want to demonstrate as many techniques as possible, but for GCSE they need to be relatively short - with clear melodies/motifs that you can develop
Finally, there are too many ideas - but you have the potential here to take a range of them and show real development and use of compositional techniques - try and find a balance between rhythmic effects, melodic ideas and a good range of chords and keys.
If you are going to do a minimalist vibe section, remember "Tubular Bells" create a strong melody and develop it gradually - and Steve Reich "Music for Mallet Instruments"
Thanks again.

Attachment Size
Percussion Composition FEEDBACK.mscz 48.43 KB

Comments

• Jul 17, 2017 - 15:37

OK. I don't know which part of the world you live, but I thought GCSE in the UK has ended. Is it the iGCSE or uk GCSE.

Anyway, the first thing I would do is to listen to the pieces mentioned

Tubular Bells

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7VHRyQDMTM
(i believe is the original - other updated versions are also on Youtube)

Steve Reich

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pANyhXRsp2g

Check the title - I can't read your original post ....

Both are 'minamalist' composers (sp?)
Listen to the pieces and work out the melody/harmony, and texture, listing
the instruments.

How long do you have?
I haven't downloaded your composition file... I am not at home...

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• Jul 18, 2017 - 11:30

Sorry. I misread. (eyesight problems :) )

You are currently in Year 10, and in September will be entering Year 11.
:)

You have the summer to concentrate on this.. :)
Your teacher has given you fairly constructive comments from what I read. Have you listened to the links I gave you yet?

I will have a look at the piece tonight

Out of interest, which examination board are you using Edexcel, AQA, WJEC?

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• Jul 18, 2017 - 12:23

The link provides you with some information on the OCR grade specs for the composition descriptor levels...

http://www.ocr.org.uk/Images/219378-specification-accredited-gcse-music…

page 32 onwards

As for familiarizing yourself with minimalism, then listen to different pieces by Steve Reich, and Philip Glass.
There are plenty of pieces online.

I think these are fairly recent.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hebUyOR6B2c - for solo piano

Mike Oldfield - a much more up to date version (1992) live performance

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7U1fvpuWWU

:)

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• Jul 18, 2017 - 14:19

HHmmm.. It did work for me... but these things do happen :)

If you type into Google

OCR GCSE music 1-9 pdf, then you will find the document. Scroll down to page 30 and you will see the criteria for each range/band for grading, and what is expected.

:)

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• Jul 17, 2017 - 15:52

The instructor gave a lot of very good comments as far as what he wants from the piece.

I'm assuming you have taken a harmony class by now and know how to transition from one key to another. Most of the comments concerning uncertain chords and harmonic pattern have to do with no clear key of the piece. You need to use half candences and authentic cadences to establish the key of the piece. I would suggest a little more piano accompaniment would help to establish this. You can highlight the instruments while using the piano to help establish various chords, modes and keys.

As your instructor suggested, you need to find a motif and use it. You can vary in key and rhythm in various ways with a little transition in between repetitions.

I wrote the intro to show how the parts can be used together to establish keys. There is a variety of different progressions of chords. It ends with a half cadence to start the transition to the first theme. I didn't stray off into other keys by using accidentals, but rather stayed with A major throughout and used different modes. You might consider using some accidentals to make a B major (V/V) chord rather than a B minor (II) chord for example.

The intro can either be ignored from that point, or somehow incorporated into the piece to set up the finale and return to the A motif. This intro motif is 1 measure long and has little rhythmic variation. Look through your piece for a 2 bar motif that you can develop, perhaps measures 17 and 18 in the vibes since your instructor seem to like it.

In the piano, be careful not to have more than an octave plus a third span for a single hand. Some players can play more, some have difficulty with that distance.

I'm not a professional composer, but this is how I would get started.

Attachment Size
Percussion_composition.mscz 25.73 KB

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• Jul 17, 2017 - 16:22

On a more general note I'd venture to say this: You complain about the instructor's comments being "vague". There is a reason for this: He doesn't want to compose the piece, he wants you to compose the piece. So his comments are pointing out the problems he sees in such a way as to leave the solutions for you to find. That way he makes life harder for you, I admit, but if you take on the tasks he outlined for you you'll learn more effectively and you find your own ways of working.

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• Jul 18, 2017 - 20:29


I appreciate that comment, but finding those solutions are very hard...

Welcome to the world of composing. :)

In essence, your teacher is saying the music lacks unity and focus. It's a collection of unrelated material, not a unified musical narrative. It's "This sounds cool so I'll use it" followed by another "This sounds cool so I'll use it." A musical shaggy dog story, in other words. (God knows, I wrote enough of those when I was a student!) The teacher then gives good general advice, that, if you're serious about composing, you'll struggle with all your musical life. Composing is largely about implementing those hard solutions.

For example, the teacher recommends shortening the introductory material. Sounds easy, right? Just knock off a few bars. Wrong. Consider the two of the shortest introductions in classical music, the opening to Beethoven's Eroica symphony and Mozart's Symphony #40. In Beethoven's case, it's just two blastissimo E-flat major chords with the third on top. In Mozart's, it's less than one bar's worth of dry rustling in the violas. In both cases, I assure you the composers didn't arrive at those introductions without concluding that absolutely nothing else was necessary AND that they served a clear function with respect to the material that follows. It probably took Mozart three seconds and Beethoven three months, but given the nature of their respective geniuses, both composers spent a goodly amount of time coming up with a solution to the introduction problem.

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• Jul 26, 2017 - 23:35

I think that the teacher's comments were presented in great detail.

To my (un-tutored) way of thinking, the single biggest problem that this composition has is gratuitous complexity: “too many notes!”   You have good musical foundations for maybe four or five interesting pieces of music here ... including a piano composition that would challenge any player.   But you never seem to really settle down into any one of them.

I suggest that you should, in a composition that is targeted at about 3-1/2 minutes, select one of your many potential motifs, and state it clearly in the opening bars of your piece.   Then, develop that one thing in several various and successive ways.   Along the way, don’t make the parts any more difficult for your players than they absolutely have to be.

Following the usual pattern of, say, an ABACA structure, your “B” part should come in at roughly 45 seconds or so, and it should be a nice contrast.   (You have plenty of existing motifs here that would do ... pick any one.)   And likewise through the rest of it.   The entire presentation should feel like a balance between the surprise and the familiar.

I think that you have several very interesting pieces of music here . . .

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Anonymous
• Jul 28, 2017 - 18:52

Leonard Bernstein once took a composition to Aaron Copland and asked him for comments about the piece. Copland looked it over and pointed out two measures and told him to keep those and throw the rest away.

There are enough ideas in your piece for several separate compositions, each with a different character. I especially like the idea beginning at measure 66. I would take that idea and compose a piece presenting the idea in different ways. Use the piano and timpani to help establish a tonal center. You could use transpositions to add interest. Keep the piano and timpani parts simple when the Vibes are playing fast intricate parts. When adding more piano and timpani make the Vibes more simple. It's too much for a listener to focus on a fast moving Vibes part with a lot of motion going on in other parts, etc.

I attached a .mscz file for an idea of what might be done based on your instructor's comments. I am not an experienced composer and not familiar with playing the Vibes or Timpani so am not sure if what I've shown is even playable. I have much to learn about the various instruments, orchestration, etc.

The first section ( A) is based on your original. Section (B) is a diatonic transposition up a third. Section (C) is just a possible idea of adding more in the piano and timpani and a simpler Vibes part.

I think your idea at measure 66 could be presented in many interesting ways.

Attachment Size
Help.mscz 17.07 KB

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